Inspired by James Lin and Tommy Trinh.
Recently I’ve been thinking about attractive people - the people who I find myself naturally gravitating towards, the ones who I want to tell first when something delightful happens. Here is a working list of the traits and values that make them beautiful.
Intuition. This is a big one. I consider intuition to be synonymous with common sense: it is the ability to read between the lines, to know when and how to act, to speak. It’s the dynamism of being a conscious and functional person. Do you get it? Can you pick things up fast? The subtext here, can you see it? It’s not something that can be taught, at least not fully, which is why it’s so resounding to me. People have it or they don’t. It permeates into how they act, how they speak, how they engage with the world and people around them. It constructs the way they carry themselves, the respect they hold, the way they translate perception into proactivity.
Curiosity. Polymaths. Distinct from IQ. People who are unafraid to ask why - or they ask why without missing a beat, simply because they have a true, innate, instinctive desire to know more. When they ask you to explain something that you know well - that perhaps they don’t know as well, with a sparkling glean in their eyes. Please, tell me more. What does this mean? As someone who lacks context but holds interest, could you please break this down for me? And they actually retain it! Reciprocated when they have…
The ability to explain, to teach, to fuel and encourage an interest. Parallel to thoughts in #2. To take from a high level to something granular. Wizardry with analogies that just make sense. Bonus points if you can explain to a wide audience, from a professional to a child to my father.
Reading voraciously, often, and widely. It’s evident when someone has simply seen arguments from Twitter flair versus those who have truly read a fleshed-out argument, its counterfactuals, and mulled in their implications - and ultimately formed an educated opinion that withstands challenges. To have a wide net of knowledge, from the metaphysical to circuitry to the development of intestinal ICBMs. Consume knowledge, because it is the one thing that can never be taken from you.
Dynamically communicative. Being able to express emotions, words, thoughts, questions in various modalities of communication - verbal, typed, handwritten, poetic, code…
Elastic hearts. To have an abundance of love, in any capacity and directed to any sphere of connection, and a sustained creation of love. To understand that filling others’ cups does not equate to a drainage of yours, and that, like the balance of blood, giving love does not permanently remove love from you.
Shallow questions (for lack of a better term). The ones that come from a place of comfort, not out of necessity to fill awkward gaps. The seemingly silly ones that stem from a giggly, loving pull to know your brain chemistry better, to know more about YOU, because there’s always more to uncover. They know the big stuff. But they still want and love the small stuff. Do you think you’re more like a goat or a ram? What Harry Potter character do you think you’re most like? Boiled…or blanched?
Serendipity. Moments of unexpected joy and adventure, just because. There’s a comfort in mundaneness, but not a prolonged one. Let’s go to New York tonight. Bus leaves in 45 minutes.
Firmness. To be able to hold your stance and your beliefs, even when challenged, with rationale. The opposite of a pushover. To be malleable enough to change opinions and consider new angles when it makes sense, but simultaneously confident enough in their understanding of the world and their reasoning to hold a solid conversation and justify their thoughts. If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?
People of principle. Their inward actions reflect their outward claims. Their actions reflect their words. They are consistent in their behaviour and their treatment towards others. What they say is what you get - there is little to no speculation of their motives, or what they truly mean. The person they are behind closed doors is the same as the one open in the foyer. They have a number of firm, unwavering values - things they vehemently hold themselves to a high standard for. These values don't change, no matter the circumstance; they stand tall. Some things cannot have what-ifs and buts. If and when these values are compromised, they reflect deeply and it does not happen again.
beautiful people